if an edifice connected with so many
associations should be consumed by fire! At
that time there was not a single soul in the
street but himself. All was quiet, dark, and
solitary. After contemplating the building
for a minute— or, say a minute and a half,
not more—our bore proceeded on his way,
mechanically repeating, What a national calamity
if such an edifice, connected with such
associations, should be destroyed by—  A
man coming towards him in a violent state
of agitation completed the sentence, with the
exclamation, Fire! Our bore looked round,
and the whole structure was in a blaze.

In harmony and union with these experiences,
our bore never went anywhere in a
steam-boat but he made either the best or the
worst voyage ever known on that station.
Either he overheard the captain say to
himself, with his hands clasped,  " We are all lost!"
or the captain openly declared to him that he
had never made such a run before, and never
should be able to do it again. Our bore was
in that express train on that railway, when
they made (unknown to the passengers) the
experiment of going at the rate of a hundred
miles an hour. Our bore remarked on that
occasion to the other people in the carriage,
" This is too fast,  but sit still ! " He was at
the Norwich musical festival when the
extraordinary echo for which science has been
wholly unable to account, was heard for the
first and last time. He and the bishop heard
it at the same moment, and caught each other's
eye. He was present at that illumination of
St. Peter's, of which the Pope is known to
have remarked, as he looked at it out of his
window in the Vatican, " O Cielo! Questa cosa
non sara fatta, mai ancora, come questa— O
Heaven! this thing will never be done again,
like this! " He has seen every lion he ever saw,
under some remarkably propitious
circumstances. He knows there is no fancy in it,
because in every case the showman mentioned the
fact at the time, and congratulated him upon it.

At one period of his life, our bore had an
illness. It was an illness of a dangerous
character for society at large. Innocently remark
that you are very well, or that somebody else
is very well; and our bore, with the preface
that one never knows what a blessing health
is until one has lost it, is reminded of that
illness, and drags you through the whole of
its symptoms, progress, and treatment. Innocently
remark that you are not well, or that
somebody else is not well, and the same
inevitable result ensues. You will learn how our
bore felt a tightness about here, sir, for which
he couldn't account, accompanied with a
constant sensation as if he were being stabbed—
or, rather,  jobbed—that expresses it more
correctly—jobbed—with a blunt knife. Well,
sir! This went on, until sparks began to flit
before his eyes, water-wheels to turn round in
his head, and hammers to beat incessantly
thump, thump, thump, all down his back—
along the whole of the spinal vertebrae. Our
bore, when his sensations had come to this,
thought it a duty he owed to himself to
take advice, and he said, Now, whom shall
I consult ?  He naturally thought of Callow,
at that time one of the most eminent
physicians in London, and he went to Callow.
Callow said, "Liver! " and prescribed rhubarb
and calomel, low diet, and moderate exercise.
Our bore went on with this treatment, getting
worse every day, until he lost confidence in
Callow, and went to Moon, whom half the
town was then mad about. Moon was
interested in the case; to do him justice he was
very much interested in the case; and he said,
"Kidnies! " He altered the whole treatment,
sir—gave strong acids, cupped, and blistered.
This went on, our bore still getting worse every
day, until he openly told Moon it would be a
satisfaction to him if he would have a
consultation with Clatter. The moment Clatter
saw our bore, he said, " Accumulation of fat
about the heart! " Snugglewood, who was
called in with him, differed, and said, " Brain!"
But, what they all agreed upon was, to lay
our bore upon his back, to shave his head,
to leech him, to administer enormous quantities
of medicine, and to keep him low; so that
he was reduced to a mere shadow, you
wouldn't have known him, and nobody
considered it possible that he could ever
recover. This was his condition, sir, when
he heard of Jilkins—at that period in a
very small practice, and living in the
upper part of a house in Great Portland
Street; but still, you understand, with a rising
reputation among the few people to whom
he was known. Being in that condition in
which a drowning man catches at a straw,
our bore sent for Jilkins. Jilkins came. Our
bore liked his eye, and said, " Mr. Jilkins, I
have a presentiment that you will do me
good." Jilkins's reply was characteristic of
the man. It was, " Sir, I mean to do you
good." This confirmed our bore's opinion of
his eye, and they went into the case together
— went completely into it. Jilkins then got
up, walked across the room, came back, and
sat down. His words were these. " You
have been humbugged. This is a case of
indigestion, occasioned by deficiency of power
in the Stomach. Take a mutton chop in
half-an-hour, with a glass of the finest old
sherry that can be got for money. Take two
mutton chops tomorrow, and two glasses of
the finest old sherry. Next day, I'll come
again." In a week our bore was on his legs,
and Jilkins's success dates from that period!

Our bore is great in secret information.
He happens to know many things that
nobody else knows. He can generally tell
you where the split is in the Ministry; he
knows a deal about the Queen; and has little
anecdotes to relate of the royal nursery. He
gives you the judge's private opinion of Sludge
the murderer, and his thoughts when he tried
him. He happens to know what such a man
got by such a transaction, and it was fifteen