+ ~ -
 
Please report pronunciation problems here. Select and sample other voices. Options Pause Play
 
Report an Error
Go!
 
Go!
 
TOC
 

may come small-pox of a peculiarly virulent
type, or a contagious fever, and sweep off a
whole population.  But when you tell them
so, they only smile at your unbelieving
heathenism.  They have already been in
danger of a severe legal sentence for the
neglect of medical means where death has
taken place;  but they are ready for the
martyrdom of legal or any other persecution, and
would flourish under it.

We heard brother Witness deliver one of
his open-air Sunday harangues.  It was
precisely of the same style as his journeyman
disciple's discourse.  All the world was still
pagan but Goosetrap Witness and his friends.
Brother Witness did not parade much human
learning or education.  It was all miracle
and grace, and very bad grammar.

He declared that the ordinary teachers
of Christianity deceived the people by telling
them to trust in God, walk orderly, and
hope for salvation.  "Ah, my brethren!"
he added, "there is no hoping and trusting in
this thing.  Every man knows whether he be
in a state of salvation or not.  He knows the
day and the hour to a minute when salvation
was vouchsafed to him; I know, my brethren,
the blessed day, to an hour and a minute,
when salvation came to me.  I was at brother
Melksom's, in London, ten years ago.  Brother
Melksom was always full of rejoicings, singing
at heart like a pilgrim that has cast off
his burden, and already sees the golden gates
afore him.  I found that he had got
something that I had not;  and I prayed, and
prayed, night, and morning, and noon, and
morning, and noon, and night;  and one morning,
at fifty-three minutes and seven and a
half seconds past seven o'clock, salvation fell
upon me like a cloud of fire.  I felt that if I
had wings I could have flown at once to
Gudgeon-Brook, to tell my friends;  but not
having them, I hastened down stairs, and
said, "Brother Melksom! we will have some
breakfast!"

The wonderful climax, "Brother Melksom,
we will have some breakfast!" seemed to
produce an astounding sensation on the
auditory.  The silent man who had mended
the boot, with his ludicrous likeness to an old
acquaintance, cast a triumphant look at me
across the crowd, saying as plainly as possible
—"There! there is no getting over that!"
Unfortunately, at this moment the other
disciple who had declared that nothing could
hurt him while he was faithfulwas seized
with a violent fit of ague, or as brother
Witness called it, the "agur", and had to be
carried off to a neighbouring fisherman's house,
where he was in a while somewhat
relieved by the laying on of handsand a
potent glass of brandy.

Meantime, brother Witness, at the head of
his church, marched off towards a distant
village, where he was again, in the evening, to
hold a meeting.  On the way from the green
he recognised me and triumphantly demanded
what I thought of his preaching.  I declined
to enter into any explanation, further than
recommending him, if he really believed in his
power of resisting poisons, to try the effect of
a few drops of Prussic acid, and if he really
was persuaded that he could restore all insane
persons, to make a visit to Hanwell or St.
Luke's, and put to flight all the demons that
afflicted the patients there. If he really
possessed such miraculous powers, (I ventured
to observe) a glorious work of humanity was
open to him. But brother Witness very
modestly declined both these tests, under the
plea that such experiments would be
presumptuous;—a sentiment in which I perfectly
concurred.

There is an anecdote told which shows how
brother Witness has an eye to the main chance.
Witness's church holds meetings on a week-
day evening, in which every one delivers
his sentiment on some subject concerning
the welfare of the association.  On one
occasion in returning from one of their
distant field-preachings, the Goosetrappists
found a little foot-bridge carried away by
a flood, and their progress homewards thus
cut off by the swollen brook. A new disciple,
however, brother Strongback, in his zeal
carried the whole company over. It was a
fine opportunity for trying how far they
could walk on the water, in imitation of
the Divine example, which they have the
audacity to pretend they have the power
to imitate ; but on this occasion brother
Witness very properly deemed the attempt
presumptuous. Brother Strongback carried
all safely over, and in gratitude, at the next
meeting, one of the faithful stood up and
said, "Bless the Lord, and praised be his
name ! brother Strongback has got no shoes."
The above introductory phrase, in which the
sacred name is so freely used, is a regular
formula, with which every one commences
his observations. We need not repeat it, but
simply say, that a second brother or sister
added, "I will give twopence for a pair of
shoes for brother Strongback." Another
would give threepence ; and so it went the
round of the meeting. When the necessary
sum was subscribed, brother Goosetrap
Witness, who had watched the progress of the
subscription in silence, arose with great solemnity
and said, "Bless the Lord, and praised
be his name, I will make brother Strongback
a pair of shoes for the money!"

Again, we ask, will it be believed that at
the present moment there is in the vicinity
of London, and extending into London itself,
a sect whose pretensions are of this
preposterous and daring kind?

The lamentable fact, however, is strictly so.
Brother Witness of course denounces all
books and all reading except of the Bible and
the Hymn-book. He and his sect read no
books, nor magazines, nor newspapers. Louis
Napoleon is not a more rigid enemy of the
press than brother Witness.