epithet bestowed on the astrologer by this
irreverent young woman, had endorsed it with the
greatest energy. Fresh from his wife's tirade
old Smagg, who, as we know, had no opinions
of his own, was, for the time, in somewhat a
sceptical mood, and he had not been long
enough among the retorts and crucibles for the
influence of the observatory to react upon his
credulity. So he confined himself to his own
immediate occupation, and holding the lid of
one of the pipkins in his hand, and peering into
the vessel to which it belonged, he said: " It's
on the bile, master."

"I am sorry for that poor girl, Smagg.
could have told her much that it would have
been well for her to know."

"It will bile in another minute," resumed
Smagg.

"Remove it to a little distance, and let it
simmer for half an hour," replied his master.
"Do you know, Smagg," he continued after a
while, leaning back in his chair, and seeming to
expand in a sense of his own exaltation, "I feel
at times as if I should shortly be able to see
into futurity merely by an act of the will, and
without having recourse to the stars at all."

Mr. Smaggsdale, in his transitional state of
belief, did not seem to know what to say to this,
so he merely replied:

"Ah, that would be nice."

"The very future of the human race seem
sometimes to be spread out before me, Smagg,"
continued the philosopher, without noticing this
prosaic remark. "With the advance of time,
and the progress of education, I believe that it
will get gradually better and better, and wiser
and wiser, and at the same time more and more
practical. I should not wonder if a time were
to come, for instance, when people ceased to
say 'Good morning' at meeting, or 'Good night'
at separating for the evening, saying to them-
selves, 'So and so will not have a better morn-
ing or a better night for my saying these words,
nor will he fare the worse for my leaving them
unsaid.' On the same principle the lawyer may
abandon one day his wig, the lord mayor his
mace, and the common council-man his gown.
Then as to war, Smagg, do you mean to tell me
that that madness can go on much longer?
Why, such engines of offence and defence will
be invented by modern ingenuity as will shortly
render it impossible. We have got rid of the
duello, Smagg, which is a battle between man
and man; and war, which is only a duello
between nations instead of individuals, must follow.
Public opinion settles which man is right in the
case of a private quarrel, and public opinion
will settle which side is right in a quarrel
between nations. It gets more influence every
day, and as to the man who will not listen to it,
why, society will have nothing to say to him, and
that is a punishment which he can't bear. Oh,
there are wonderful times coming, Smagg. I
don't say that you or I will live to see them;
their full development we certainly shall not
live to see unless one of us is the Wandering
Jew."

"And that's not me, sir," interposed Smagg,
beginning, under the influence of all this
prophesying, to yield his belief.

"Very well, then, you can only hope to see
the beginning of the great times, Smagg; but
the beginning you may see, and then you'll find
that my words are confirmed, and then you'll
believe."

"Oh, sir, don't imagine for a moment that I
don't believe."

"You vacillate, old Smagg; you know you
vacillate, at times."

"Ah, sir," replied the old man, in the tone of
one who deprecates well-merited wrath, "it's
only for a moment now and then. Do you
never doubt yourself, when the things don't
happen as you've foretold them?"

"I doubt!" cried his master. "Doubt the
influence of the stars! Doubt the sublime
theories that great minds have, after years of
study, so painfully and laboriously eliminated
from a continuous contemplation of the
movements and combinations of the heavenly bodies?
Why, Smagg, what are you talking about?
And what do you mean, pray, by talking about
'things not happening as I've foretold them?'
When was that, Smagg? When was that?"

"Oh, sir, I didn't mean any offence."

"Offence! no; I know you didn't. But
what did you mean?"

"Well, sir, for instance, just now, there was
the young woman who wouldn't have her
horoscope at any price. She said it was all wrong."

The wrath of Cornelius rose at this to a pitch
almost of sublimity.

"You miserable, hesitating funkard," he
burst out, coining a word in the fury of the
moment. "What! Influenced by the opinion
of that insensate lump of idiotcy which—I do
not say who but which — has just left us? What!
You would set the reckless assertion of that
profane wretch against the dicta (the deliberate
opinions) of one who has devoted his life to
study and research! But you had better go on
a step further, in endorsing the opinions of that
enlightened personage, and call me as she did—
an impostor!"

"Oh, sir, don't. You make me shudder."

"Shudder on, you child of Saturn, and may
the evil influences of that dark and sinister
planet, under which you were, as the poet has
it, 'littered,' descend upon you unmitigated by
the protecting interposition of any less malignant
celestial influences. For shame, Smagg, for
shame! To think that I should have lived to
see the day when the very flesh and blood that
I have nourished turns against me, and joins
with a sordid scullion to brand me with the
itle of impostor!"

Poor old Smagg was firm in his belief again
now. The matrimonial influence was weak;
that of the philosopher was in the ascendant,
and he was full of remorse.

"Oh, Mr. Vampi, sir," he cried, "forgive
me. It was only a slip of the tongue, and it
was but for a moment. I know it was foolish
and ungrateful too, to be in doubt even for a