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committed the inconceivable blunder of translating
the ancient British cllwfdbry as if it were
cllwdbry: a most heinous fault, as any one
acquainted with that language (hem!) will see at
once. On the other hand, I was consoled by
finding that I had made some capital "shots,"
and that others had made blunders as bad as,
if not worse than, mine. Our work in the morning
lasted from ten till one; in the afternoon
from three till six. After coming from the room,
great was the comparison of notes among
wallahs uncertain of the correctness of their
answers, and anxious to see if other wallahs had
given the same.

I was not sorry when the paper work was
over, and the vivâ voce began. It was my first
vivâ voce exam, and I was rather in doubt as
to my coming off with flying colours.
However, my first day's experience reassured me a
little. Going to the appointed place, I entered
a large room marked Waiting-Room, and
furnished with two large tables, and with many
hard chairs for the repose of the wallah body:
also with several morning papers for the
solace and improvement of the wallah mind.
Gradually the wallahs dropped in, and the
examiners also made their appearance: flitting to
their separate rooms, there to await their victims.
I thanked my stars that I was the first summoned
to be examined on a certain science, for the
examiner's temper would be unruffled by the
perversity or stupidity of previous wallahs, and
he would therefore be more likely to deal mildly
with me. He asked me to be seated, and I seated
myself accordingly at a little table opposite
him, and waited with palpitation for what he
had to say. He asked me what I had read on
the science, and I said I had read the works of
Professors Buggins, Muggins, and Juggins. I
was then given a good many stiff questions from
the books of those distinguished authors, and
on the whole, answered them well. In about a
quarter of an hour I was dismissed, well pleased
with the result of my first vivâ voce.

When I re-entered the waiting-room, I was
received by divers wallahs with the questions
"Where have you been?" " What did he ask
you?" " Was it hard?" and so forth. Satisfying
those perturbed wallahs to the best of my
ability, I waited for my next vivâ voce, which did
not come on until the afternoon; in the mean
time, I was rejoiced to hear from a wallah who
had heard it from undoubted authority, that the
mathematical papers (for which I had not gone
in) had been fearfully stiff, and would be sure
to bring many a wallah to grief. As with the
paper work, so with the vivâ voce, one day was
very like another; but the bragging wallahs
were now more bragging than ever in their
accounts of the merciless way in which they had
either browbeaten and intimidated, or flattered
and cajoled, the luckless examiners.

At last, it was all over, and after about ten
days of worry and hard work, I took myself off
to enjoy a little country air and laziness.
Whether I passed or did not pass, is my business;
but this outline of the proceedings at what
it is the pleasure of competition wallahs to call
"exam," is very much at the service of all whom
it may or may not concern.

                     THE GLOW-WORM.

           SOME Apes found a Glow-worm
                Shining in the night;
           A little drop of radiance
                Tenderly alight.

           Ho! ho! chattered they,
                 Grinning all together,
           We'll make a fire to warm us
                'Tis jolly cold weather.

           With dry sticks and dead leaves
                 All the Apes came,
           Piled a heap, and squatted round,
                To blow it into flame.

           But fire wouldn't kindle so;
                Vain their wasted breath!
            Only they put out the glow
                 And the worm to death.

            Glow-worms are meant to shine!
                 Apes can't blow them hot,
            Just to warm their foolish hands,
                 Or boil the flesh-pot.

            Thus the world would use the poet
                  With his light of love;
             Probably his worth may be
                  Better known above.


BY the side of most railways out of London,
one may see Alms-Houses and Retreats (generally
with a Wing or a Centre wanting, and
ambitious of being much bigger than they are),
some of which are newly-founded Institutions,
and some old establishments transplanted. There
is a tendency in these pieces of architecture to
shoot upward unexpectedly, like Jack's bean
stalk, and to be ornate in spires of Chapels and
lanterns of Halls, which might lead to the
embellishment of the air with many castles of
questionable beauty but for the restraining consideration
of expense. However, the managers, being
always of a sanguine temperament, comfort
themselves with plans and elevations of Loomings in
the future, and are influenced in the present by
philanthropy towards the railway passengers.
For, the question how prosperous and promising
the buildings can be made to look in their eyes,
usually supersedes the lesser question how they
can be turned to the best account for the inmates.

Why none of the people who reside in these
places ever look out of window, or take an airing
in the piece of ground which is going to be a
garden by-and-by, is one of the wonders I have
added to my always-lengthening list of the
wonders of the world. I have got it into my mind
that they live in a state of chronic injury and
resentment, and on that account refuse to decorate
the building with a human interest. As I
have known legatees deeply injured by a bequest
of five hundred pounds because it was not five
thousand, and as I was once acquainted with a