and to whom we willingly concede the possession
of far higher intelligence than was displayed
by his spiritual knocker, in "frequently cutting
to pieces the clothes of one of his boys," and in
breaking " seventy-one panes of glass"—unless,
indeed, the knocker, when in the body, was
connected with the tailoring and glazing interests.
Belief in immaterial performers playing (in the
dark though: they are obstinate about its being in
the dark) on material instruments of wood, catgut,
brass, tin, and parchment. Your belief is further
requested in "the Kentucky Jerks." The spiritual
achievements thus euphoniously denominated
"appear," says Mr. Howitt, "to have been of a
very disorderly kind." It appears that a certain
Mr. Doke, a Presbyterian clergyman, "was first
seized by the jerks," and the jerks laid hold of
Mr. Doke in that unclerical way and with that
scant respect for his cloth, that they "twitched
him about in a most extraordinary manner, often
when in the pulpit, and caused him to shout
aloud, and run out of the pulpit into the woods,
screaming like a madman. When the fit was
over, he returned calmly to his pulpit and
finished the service." The congregation having
waited, we presume, and edified themselves
with the distant bellowings of Doke in the
woods, until he came back again, a little warm
and hoarse, but otherwise in fine condition,
"People were often seized at hotels, and at
table would, on lifting a glass to drink, jerk
the liquor to the ceiling; ladies would at the
breakfast-table suddenly be compelled to throw
aloft their coffee, and frequently break the cup
and saucer." A certain venturesome clergyman
vowed that he would preach down the
Jerks, "but he was seized in the midst of
his attempt, and made so ridiculous that he
withdrew himself from further notice"—an
example much to be commended. That same
favoured land of America has been particularly
favoured in the development of "innumerable
mediums," and Mr. Howitt orders you to
believe in DANIEL DUNGLAS HOME, ANDREW
DAVIS JACKSON, and THOMAS L. HARRIS, as
"the three most remarkable, or most familiar,
on this side of the Atlantic." Concerning
Mr. Home, the articles of belief (besides
removal of furniture) are, That through him
raps have been given and communications
made from deceased friends. That "his hand
has been seized by spirit influence, and rapid
communications written out, of a surprising
character to those to whom they were
addressed." That at his bidding, "spirit hands
have appeared which have been seen, felt, and
recognised frequently, by persons present, as
those of deceased friends." That he has been
frequently lifted up and carried, floating "as it
were" through a room, near the ceiling. That
in America, "all these phenomena have displayed
themselves in greater force than here"—which
we have not the slightest doubt of. That he is
"the planter of spiritualism all over Europe."
That "by circumstances that no man could have
devised, he became the guest of the Emperor of
the French, of the King of Holland, of the Czar
of Russia, and of many lesser princes." That
he returned from "this unpremeditated
missionary tour," "endowed with competence;"
but not before, "at the Tuileries, on one
occasion when the emperor, empress, a distinguished
lady, and himself only were sitting at table, a
hand appeared, took up a pen, and wrote, in a
strong and well-known character, the word
NAPOLEON. The hand was then successively
presented to the several personages of the party
to kiss." The stout believer, having disposed
of Mr. Home, and rested a little, will then
proceed to believe in ANDREW DAVIS JACKSON, or
ANDREW JACKSON DAVIS (Mr. Howitt, having
no Medium at hand to settle this difference and
reveal the right name of the seer, calls him by
both names), who merely "beheld all the
essential natures of things, saw the interior of
men and animals, as perfectly as their exterior;
and described them in language so correct, that
the most able technologists could not surpass
him. He pointed out the proper remedies for
all the complaints, and the shops where they
were to be obtained;"—in the latter respect
appearing to hail from an advertising circle, as we
conceive. It was also in this gentleman's
limited department to "see the metals in the
earth," and to have "the most distant regions
and their various productions present before
him." Having despatched this tough case, the
believer will pass on to Thomas L. Harris, and will
swallow him easily, together with "whole epics"
of his composition; a certain work "of scarcely
less than Miltonic grandeur," called The Lyric
of the Golden Age—a lyric pretty nigh as long
as one of Mr. Howitt's volumes—dictated by
Mr. (not Mrs.) Harris to the publisher in ninety
four hours; and several extempore sermons,
possessing the remarkably lucid property of
being "full, unforced, out-gushing, unstinted,
and absorbing." The candidate for examination
in pure belief, will then pass on to the spirit-
photography department; this, again, will be found
in so-favoured America, under the superintendence
of Medium MUMLER, a photographer
of Boston: who was "astonished" (though, on
Mr. Howitt's showing, he surely ought not to
have been) "on taking a photograph of himself,
to find also by his side the figure of a young
girl, which he immediately recognised as that of
a deceased relative. The circumstance made a
great excitement. Numbers of persons rushed
to his rooms, and many have found deceased
friends photographed with themselves."
(Perhaps Mr. Mumler, too, may become "endowed
with competence" in time. Who knows?)
Finally, the true believers in the gospel according
to Howitt, have, besides, but to pin their
faith on "ladies who see spirits habitually," on
ladies who know they have a tendency to soar in
the air on sufficient provocation, and on a few
other gnats to be taken after their camels, and
they shall be pronounced by Mr. Howitt not of
"the stereotyped class of minds," and not
partakers of "the astonishing ignorance of the
press," and shall receive a first-class certificate
of merit.