+ ~ -
Please report pronunciation problems here. Select and sample other voices. Options Pause Play
Report an Error

ORATIONS. The first Oration will be upon
Daffy, or Infant Medication. This will be
succeeded by an Oration on Spoonmeat,
demonstrating the objectionable fluidity of milk, and
the necessity of nourishing a child on grits. The
third Oration will be on Bare Legs, with a most
earnest exhortation to fond parents to try the
effect of discarding leg-coverings themselves for
at least one autumn and winter. An infant band
of Bronchitic Minstrels will attend to perform
popular variations on the British Cough.


ALWAYS An immense flock of gulls to
believe in preposterous advertisements.

to nobody, on its way to boroughs and
counties to do nothing.

treasurer of St. Bartholomew's Hospital,
who has mercifully employed himself in turning
the gravelled airing ground, which forms the
hospital quadrangle, into a garden for the benefit
of convalescent patients.

A LITTLE ESTIMATE of expenses for
improving London, issued by the Metropolitan
Board of Works, and amounting to the sum
of (say) Twenty Millions sterling. The attention
of all housekeepers, who may find their present
taxes too light for them, is particularly directed
to this gratifying document.

made political sympathy for the working-
classes, scattered principally about the large
electoral districts. To be sold, in the course of the
next six weeks, for the benefit of the original
manufacturers. Apply at the hustings.

IN A FEW SHEETS of town and country
newspapers, supposed to have been dropped
by a gang of coiners, a mass of BASE TATTLE,
ticketed "Literary Intelligence," and several
FLASH NOTES, endorsed " From our London
Correspondent." These have been forwarded to
the nearest Dust-Contractor, but dealers in
small talk are cautioned against unwary
acceptance of any more of this base coin that may
still be current. It is chiefly to the effect that
the eminent John Jones's private income is nine,
four, two, six. and twopence-halfpenny. Also
that Smith has asked Thompson to tell Watson
that Johnson thinks Wilkinson has promised to
give Wilson a thousand pounds a minute for
five years.


ON ALL OCCASIONS, the man who is
responsible for anything done ill in the
public service. He will particularly oblige by
coming forward.

A DECENT PRETEXT for plunging the
nations of Europe into the losses, crimes,
miseries, and horrors of war. Apply at the chief
office, Paris; or, at the branch establishment,

part of the civilised world, for the sufferings
of the King of Naples.

MARINERS, pointing out the safe middle
course to steer, between the Low Church Rocks,
and the High Church Quicksands. Also, a
manual of instructions for the accurate trimming
of sails, when the storms of clerical remonstrance
blow together from two different points of the
compass. Address (post-paid), The Commanding
Officer of her Majesty's Ship, Diocese of Oxford.


SHEDDÁD the Mighty, the great of limb,
Had the kings of the whole earth under him:
They held their thrones at his pleasure, and all
Came and went at his beck and call.
His heart swell'd within him, and, mad with power,
To his vassals he said, in an evil hour:
" I have read in the ancient histories
Of the gardens and cities of Paradise,
Whereto the spirit of man is bidden
When, passing the Gate of Death, now hidden,
It walks in the countries far away.—
Let those who please await that day:
The will of the crowd availeth not
To expedite their promis'd lot;
But mine is strong and stern as Fate;
And I on the earth will emulate
The pomp of that celestial state;
Till, like a planet vast and bright,
That dazzles the day and kills the night,
And waneth never, nor taketh flight,
In the heavens shall hang the golden light.
Of the City of Earthly Eden.

"Depart, then, to the mines that lie
In the caves of the mountains far and nigh,
And out of the heat and the swarthy glooms
Of Nature's subterranean rooms
Bring heavy lumps of burning gold,
And bars of silver, white and cold,
And the chrysolite, glancing yellow and green,
And the emerald, arrowy, quick, and keen,
And the ruby's throbbing heart of splendour,
Where the prison'd light beats soft and tender,
And trembles, 'twixt love and sorrow and bliss,
For the outer light which it can but kiss,
But never shall join through the endless ages:
And let the lords and the greybeard sages
Search out, with diligent toil and pain,
A spot on which some delightful plain,
Where rivers four from a mountain single
Their  waves with a murmuring measure mingle;
And there, to a sound of choral song,
Build the bases steady and strong
And lift the terraces light and long,
In the City of Earthly Eden."

The vassals heard, and bow'd, and went
Their several way , and the wonderment
Was blown abroad to the uttermost bound
Of the great earth's all-containing round;
And the tribes and nations hurried forth
From beyond the mountains of the North,